The quiet of winter is the perfect time to reflect on the past and decide where to go in the future. The chilly weather that has driven us indoors, huddled in blankets, cursing the ice and snow and wind once again, can provide just the right space and time to think about our lives: what we like, what we want, what needs to change, and what makes us happy and whole.
In winter, we’re like an icy pond – still and quiet with little movement, but there’s lots of places for reflection on the surface. And if we choose to look deeper, breaking through the ice, we can see the possibilities for the coming spring. We can see that all is still right now, but it doesn’t have to be stagnant. If we can break through the surface, past the auto-pilot setting we’ve put ourselves on and be honest with ourselves, we can nourish the things that we love, planting the seeds of the things we want to grow in our lives.
I’m an optimist by nature, but January was particularly challenging for me. I felt stuck with almost everything in life. I felt like there were obstacles coming up at every turn, I couldn’t move forward, no matter how hard I tried. I spent a lot of time being still in meditation, trying to discover what was beneath my icy surface, blocking my way. I finally felt pushed to my limits, and one day just sat down and cried, releasing my frustration with everything.
That break-down lead to break-through. I cracked the ice, finally being completely honest with myself, and recognizing that the obstacle in my way was me. I had been still too long, waiting on people and things in my life to be just right, afraid to move forward before I had enough knowledge or money, afraid of what others would think, and afraid of not being good enough. I had long moved past stillness (reflection) and become stagnant (fearful). It was all at once embarrassing, frustrating, and then…a sense of relief. If I’m the one in my way, trapped by my own beliefs and actions, I can change that – right now! And I started with forgiving myself. Forgiving myself for getting to this place of stagnation, but understanding that the experience itself was a valuable lesson.
I am now releasing old ways of thinking, old habits that no longer serve me, and judgments from others that I’ve accepted but are not true. I have complete control over my life, meaning that I choose every moment how to think and behave. No one can do anything to me that I don’t allow. And I choose to consciously live my life, doing what I was born to do, being guided by Spirit, knowing that the judgments of others are truly none of my business. Their judgments come from their own experiences, and are not true assessments of me and my life. In turn, I have no right to judge others either, and I need to focus on my accomplishments, rather than my failures. Retain the lessons from the failures, but release the pain!
This winter, I’ve broken through the ice. I’ve planted new seeds, laid new eggs, and am nourishing that which allows me to be all that I am – a loving being, here on this planet to share my gifts and talents in a way that brings joy and love to others. When I care for myself, honestly assessing my needs, and choosing activities and people in my life that allow me to be the joyful creature that I am, it’s easy to be filled with love and allow that to flow to others around me. And I’ll continue to walk through fear, knowing that I am supported by those who love me, and that we’re all fully supported by the universe when we’re doing the things we love and being our true selves.
And you know what? Since I broke through that ice, my life is moving forward again, as I knew it eventually would.
Wishing you the courage and stillness to break through your icy surface, and see your amazing possibilities!
Love & Light,